Let’s Have Some Fun, These Beats Are Sick

the original source             In some zoos, animals don’t breed because they can’t in captivity. In these cases, there must be artificial insemination, wherein a daring zookeeper goes elbow deep into the rectum of an animal in order to massage the love juice out of the animal from within. It is void of passion and entertainment for all parties, and it looks illegal to tape, but you can find it all over the web. Anyway, my point is: sometimes that’s the way life gives it to you, too.

http://livelifepursuehappy.com/aAFk             No one can run hot all the time and no one can be fun all the time. There’s no guarantee that you will be bringing the best deck to a tournament or even a night of FNM. Maybe Magic doesn’t mean as much to some of y’all as it does to me, but losing a night of magic has never been something that has defeated me, but playing unfun magic has made me want to quit not just the match I’m playing but playing the game at all. Since it takes practice to get better at the game, you should actively want to play the game if you want to get better.

why not find out more             I don’t think I’ve said anything to controversial yet so let me grease you bad motherfuckers up with this one: play bad decks if you want to learn more. People often suggest that to get good at a format you should play one deck over and over to get a grasp on the rest of the field, but that doesn’t necessarily teach you anything but basic pattern recognition. Let’s take storm for example. Your opponent has you dead in two turns, and you have Gifts Ungiven – over time you learn that given different information you get different “packages” with gifts.

More about the author The first time you come across each of these situations, it may take some good, ole-fashioned thinking, but once you’ve done it before you are on auto pilot. Practice goldfishing through your combo at home and you’re one “I think you’re dead but who’s to say!” away from being a storm player.

            Playing sub-par decks, provided that they have cards which are playable, ignites the fire in your brain called “decision making.” For this article, I will be using a list a friend and I have been tinkering with for a long time, which is Esper Mentor.


            This deck is a hoot for a couple of reasons. First of all, you are left with the satisfaction of almost having won every match. If you had done x, maybe y wouldn’t have happened. Had you anticipated that they would play World Breaker instead of Karn, Liberatred, you might not have gone all in on your delver plan. If you had taken Liliana of the Veil instead of Maelstrom Pulse, you would still have your Logic Knot for their Pulse when it went after something turns later.

            The second reason is when you do win, no one is going to bitch about cards you have needing to be banned. They’ll say “oh shit, I guess that interaction with Zealous Persecution and Monastery Mentor is really neat.” Opponents will be inspired to try their hardest because all your games look close. Your burn opponents think about what you’re doing with your mana every turn, because you could have anything. You become a better player because you have to think on your feet with every turn, but you also generate better games because your opponents have to pay more attention too.

            This year, for me, started with my resolution to take every opportunity to enjoy my own life more, because much of this is always in your own hands. I don’t go to car shows, for instance, because it’s not useful to see cars I can’t have, and only serves to make me unhappy. This meant that I now wanted to play something even more fun, with even less of a chance of winning. This is the 45% deck, which will only win if you are the one using your brain. It is the ultimate “feel-smart” deck, which regrettably comes with the caveat that you are likely a dumbass for playing it.


The only other real appeal to playing this deck is that it has outs to everything, but the downside is that you beat the Christ out of yourself with your mana base, and nothing but a stiff swig of the good stuff will help you to stop screaming as any opponent with a backbone saws your God-forsaken legs off.

The artificial appeal to this deck is that it’s therapeutic. You play the fun spells, you win or lose fun games. You look at your loved ones in caskets and know that they lived good lives. You read a good book. You have pleasant coitus with someone who you take only on faith to be free of love-productive diseases. You smoke the reefer, and you didn’t have to pay for it. What a life. People have explained to me that this is what Burn or Narset Cannon feels like to them, and I believe that they feel this way. I don’t think it would feel that way to me as I have an inclination to play games of magic lasting longer than four or so turns, but yucking other people’s yums only makes me heated and other people defensive. So go on, play magic, but you’re not going to make any money, so if winning becomes more important than having fun, I suggest you take some time off and play some magic that makes you feel something.

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